pledosophy Posted March 11, 2010 Share Posted March 11, 2010 Happy Birthday Chuck. (clap)(clap) The Big 70! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dsoz Posted March 11, 2010 Share Posted March 11, 2010 Ya, but what does his reef tank look like. If he is so tough, show me a tank where algae is afraid to grow. dsoz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stylaster Posted March 11, 2010 Share Posted March 11, 2010 better watch out a fist will appear from his chin and karate chop you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R-3 Posted March 11, 2010 Share Posted March 11, 2010 In honor of Chuck here are some lesser known facts. Chuck Norris owns a chain of fast-food restaurants throughout the southwest. They serve nothing but barbecue-flavored ice cream and Hot Pockets. The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer. Some people ask for a Kleenex when they sneeze, Chuck Norris asks for a body bag. For most people, home is where the heart is. For Chuck Norris, home is where he stores his collection of human skulls. Chuck Norris starts everyday with a protein shake made from Carnation Instant Breakfast, one dozen eggs, pure Colombian cocaine, and rattlesnake venom. He injects it directly into his neck with a syringe. The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears. If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period. Chuck Norris doesn't go on the internet, he has every internet site stored in his memory. He refreshes webpages by blinking. Jack Bauer tried to use his detailed knowledge of torture techniques, but to no avail: Chuck Norris thrives on pain. Chuck Norris then ripped off Jack Bauer's arm and beat him to death with it. Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. The Manhattan Project was not intended to create nuclear weapons, it was meant to recreate the destructive power in a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick. They didn't even come close. A movie scene depicting Chuck Norris losing a fight with Bruce Lee was the product of history's most expensive visual effect. When adjusted for inflation, the effect cost more than the Gross National Product of Paraguay. The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist. Not everyone that Chuck Norris is mad at gets killed. Some get away. They are called astronauts. In 1990, Chuck Norris founded the non-profit organization "Kick Drugs Out of America". If the organization's name were "Roundhouse Kick Drugs out of America", there wouldn't be any drugs in the Western Hemisphere. Anywhere. The Bible was originally titled "Chuck Norris and Friends". In the Words of Julius Caesar, "Veni, Vidi, Vici, Chuck Norris". Translation: I came, I saw, and I was roundhouse-kicked in the face by Chuck Norris. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R-3 Posted March 11, 2010 Share Posted March 11, 2010 Heres a great Tshirt site too! http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/buy-chuck-norris-shirt-us Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Algae Posted March 20, 2010 Share Posted March 20, 2010 It is possible to be too manly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tigerv503 Posted March 20, 2010 Share Posted March 20, 2010 Chuck Norris is a cool DUDE! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jgf86123 Posted March 21, 2010 Share Posted March 21, 2010 Even though he's 70, I still wouldn't him to kick me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gradth Posted March 21, 2010 Share Posted March 21, 2010 Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer, but he never cries. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Algae Posted March 21, 2010 Share Posted March 21, 2010 Just not true. He cries like a small schoolgirl when he sees a cute puppy wag its tail or when he receives a romantic Valentines Day card. Then he kills the puppy, rips the card, and breaks down into inconsolable sobs. Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer' date=' but he never cries.[/quote'] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newfisher Posted March 22, 2010 Share Posted March 22, 2010 Chuck Norris was found to be the one behind crop circles. When asked why he replied " because sometimes corn just needs to lie down" Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting, he goes killing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snowpunk Posted March 22, 2010 Share Posted March 22, 2010 Chuck Norris was found to be the one behind crop circles. When asked why he replied " because sometimes corn just needs to lie down" Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting, he goes killing. he does that with the sonic boom that takes place after his roundhouse kicks right? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Algae Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 The sonic boom, during his roundhouse kicks, comes from the flatulence that is a byproduct of his elderly status. he does that with the sonic boom that takes place after his roundhouse kicks right? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.